Dirty nails. Greasy hair. Unwashed armpits. These are usually things one would associate with gollum, however in the past few weeks they have, unfortunately, become things I have had to live with. No, I've not decided to embrace my inner skunk or decided that washing is just not chic. The despairing crux of this first world plight is that our boiler has stopped producing hot water. And so, myself and my two flatmates have had to come up with other solutions to washing ourselves, or indeed, appearing like we have showered when we haven't really in over 3 days. Tasty. One of my favourite, and most soul destroying solutions, was to attempt to fill the bath with hot water from the kettle and boiled water from pots on the cooker. Although on paper, this looks like it could potentially work, the harsh reality was that it was one of the most stupid things I've ever tried to do. The water cooled almost instantly, and even with all my pots and kettle full of water,
Being a waitress means you have superpowers. The above statement is something I have learned over the course of my adult life which, since graduating, I have spent cleaning tables, carrying trays, and fake-smiling at miserable middle-aged woman who often reply to my grin with looks of disdain. Lovely. Rather that being viewed as human beings by said miserable customers, waiting staff are often, it would seem, believed to be super human beings who hold a multitude of powers. The power of being in two places at once The ability to be in two places at once, for instance, is a power which waiting staff must possess in order to satisfy the needs of multiple tables simultaneously, so as to avoid any upset or inconvenience to any party involved. If waiting staff could not be in two places at once, some customers may actually be asked to - God forbid - wait until an order has been taken from another table before they can request a refill of their New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. The powe